


Trying To Make Things Better

by MetroidPrimeRibs



Series: The Olmak [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28949328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MetroidPrimeRibs/pseuds/MetroidPrimeRibs
Summary: The lights of the city started to glow in the long shadows of the half of a sun that peaked over the horizon. A reflection in the window snapped her out of her retrospective thoughts, she snapped her hand to her side, drawing her pistol, tumbling backward out of her chair and into a kneeling stance in a less swift motion than she aimed for.“Miss Misato? Are you alright?”The woman with the amber eyes nodded her head in the affirmative, indicating for Misato to do the same.“Who are you? How did you get in here?”This is mostly just an exploration of what could've been if someone had filled the pilots in on what was actually happening. I'm using an OC from another story I'm simultaneously writing, so check that one out when it gets posted. And please drop some comments! I can't improve without feedback.Tove, the OC, probably feels very out of place, and that's mostly intentional.
Relationships: Akagi Ritsuko/Ibuki Maya
Series: The Olmak [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123598
Kudos: 6





	1. Interdimensional Interloper

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to try to update this every weekend, but who knows? this story was just going to be a one shot, but well... I'm about 20k words in now and the plot is still in the first arc.
> 
> Misato meets our Inciting Incident, the woman Tove, and gets a taste of what NERV really has cooked up.

Chapter 1: Interdimensional Interloper

The sun finally crept below the horizon, temporarily ending it’s intense bombardment of Tokyo-3. Heat distortion caused the skyscrapers of the fortress-city to waver in the dying light. Misato Katsuragi sat at her desk at home trying to make progress on reports for Commander Ikari. Lately things had been heating up in the fight against the Angels, and she wasn’t going to let herself fall by the wayside in complacency of NERV’s winning streak.

The most recent Angel hadn’t even been fought off by the children, they couldn’t have done anything to help even if they had tried. Ireul, the 11th Angel, caught them off guard as it attacked NERV headquarters while the pilots were performing a synch test. Before the Angel could reach them, Rei, Shinji, and Asuka had been ejected from the test plugs and the bridge crew were in charge of the fight. Able to stall the computer virus-like Angel from taking over the Magi Super Computer system, Ritsuko Akagi made use of her late mother’s notes and hacks left tucked inside the hardware to seal their last-second victory.

Acting on evidence of him being a double agent for the Japanese Home Ministry Department of Investigation, Misato had followed Ryoji Kaji as he snuck into the Terminal Dogma, the chamber containing NERV’s biggest secret. The horror of what was revealed in the Terminal Dogma still caused her to quake, she noted, casting a glance over the shaky writing on her latest round of reports. There were too many things for her to keep track of. Too many places where secrets were clouding her once clear vision of NERV’s goals. Why would Adam be kept in NERV’s basement? How was Adam kept in NERV’s basement?

If nothing else, she at least knew for certain why Angels only ever attacked the GeoFront. A new question had been revealed; what were Commander Ikari, and by extension NERV, really up to?

Misato’s paperwork hadn’t made any progress on itself, so with a heavy sigh she pushed it to the side, knocking a few empty beer cans off the side of her desk. She really needed to get to cleaning up her workspace. Absently picking up one of her numerous Pre-Impact car magazines, she flipped through, not entirely focused on the articles or even the pictures of the various classics she had always been a fan of.  _ ‘At least working for NERV has a couple up sides,’ _ she thought dryly. NERV was paying her enough that having a vintage Alpine A310 restored and retrofitted with the most advanced equipment on the market was her first big purchase. Unfortunately, the shockwave from the N2 mine that had sent her and Shinji tumbling necessitated repairs that added another 8 months of payments to the 33 months she’d had originally.

Speaking of Shinji, he had been improving in Synch tests lately, he’d recently surpassed Rei and had just about caught up to Asuka. Asuka, meanwhile, had started to struggle, with her numbers wavering. Her relationship with Misato didn’t help either. Asuka called her out on her lack of domestic skills or accused her of having ‘indecent relations’ every chance she got. In return, Misato was emotionally distant with her. She didn’t mean to harm the young girl, she was trying to be a ‘cool parental figure’ by giving her and Shinji space, but truth be told she didn’t have a clue about how to care for Asuka. Not that she was winning any awards with Shinji, but his problems were easier. They were similar enough to hers.

_ ‘I shouldn’t be second guessing myself again about having them stay with me, they need someone in their lives, even if they don’t see it now. I know what it’s like to grow up like them, distant parents who can’t be bothered to pay attention let alone try to bond with them.’ _ Misato shivered as a draft fluttered a few pages of her magazine.  _ ‘I thought the window was closed.’ _ She glanced to her right to find it was. The lights of the city started to glow in the long shadows of the half of a sun that peaked over the horizon. A reflection in the window snapped her out of her retrospective thoughts, she snapped her hand to her side, drawing her pistol, tumbling backward out of her chair and into a kneeling stance in a less swift motion than she aimed for.

A tall stranger leaned against the wall next to her door with her arms crossed. Her intense amber eyes betrayed no alarm at having a gun pointed at her from only a few paces away. Her arms slowly unfolded, showing she was unarmed, before her right moved to place an index finger to her lips in a shushing motion.

“Miss Misato? Are you alright?”

It had been Shinji calling out to her. Tumbling out of her chair must’ve been loud enough to be heard over the only cassette the boy always listened to in his SDAT. The woman with the amber eyes nodded her head in the affirmative, indicating for Misato to do the same. The Major didn’t move her aim, but called out to placate the boy, “Yeah, I’m fine! Just fell asleep at my desk again. Silly me.”

“Ok, miss Misato.”

The woman nodded, as if she was satisfied with the response. “Who are you? How did you get in here?” the Major half whispered, half shouted, trying to be as discreet as possible. No need to worry the two pilots, yet. They had more than enough on their plates, and she wouldn’t worry them with the thought that their home wasn’t safe from burglars.

“I’m a friend, I promise.” The woman’s accented voice was deep and a bit raspy, “Though I can’t say if my actions will help or hurt, I have your best interests at heart. I don’t want to see any of the children hurt, so I’m trying to intervene.”

Misato hadn’t moved the gun away from the woman, but was less focused on getting a clear shot and more focused on taking in her appearance while she pondered the odd statement. She was tall, at least six feet, with ashy grey hair, though she wasn’t old, perhaps about as old as herself. Her charcoal and silver flight jacket emphasized the width of her shoulders, while a pale blue shirt and black jeans completed the outfit. There was still a neutral expression on her face, but her brow was just starting to furrow. “Do you mind pointing that away from me? I don’t want to get shot tonight.”

Scoffing, the Major raised an eyebrow, “Don’t you think you should’ve thought of that before breaking and entering? Or are you just stupid?” She shifted her hips in an attempt to end the pins and needles feeling that was starting to crawl up her leg.

“It probably wasn’t the best idea, but I couldn’t think of another way to talk to you without Section 2 monitoring. I’m taking a risk even now, they may be listening.” She blinked before continuing, “I have a letter in my jacket pocket, I’m going to slowly pull it out and hand it to you.”

“You’ll set it on the ground and push it over to me with your foot. This gun isn’t leaving your chest.”

“Fair enough,” she nodded once and moved to retrieve the letter, slowly dropping it on the floor before pushing it as far over to Misato as she could. Misato finally tore her eyes off the woman and glanced down to the envelope before snapping back up to the woman’s amber eyes. The lack of shoes threw her off for a moment.  _ ‘What kind of person breaks and enters, but removes their shoes?’ _ She finally removed her left hand from the pistol and picked up the envelope without taking her eyes off of the woman. “That should explain enough to get you to trust me. Or maybe it’ll make you more suspicious ‘cause of what I know. Either way, hopefully you should want information more than you want to shoot me.”

_ ‘What is with her? She breaks into my apartment, says she doesn’t want to be shot, then makes comments in jest?’ _ Opening the envelope, she pulled the letter out with her teeth, tossing the envelope and flipping the paper open.

> _ Major Misato Katsuragi, _
> 
> _ I apologize for the unusual method of contact, but I have information regarding the Evangelion pilots, NERV’s secret operations and goal, and the Angels that I wish to give you. _
> 
> _ In an attempt to hide my presence from NERV’s Section 2, please head to your bathroom and bring a radio or some kind of music player, something with voices. Turn on the water and the audio and hopefully that will be enough background noise to block out any listening devices NERV has. _
> 
> _ Thank you. _

Misato looked back up and her eyes practically bulged from her head, the woman had vanished. She quickly surveyed her cluttered bedroom, clearly she couldn’t be hiding anywhere in there. Her door hadn’t even open and shut, otherwise she would’ve seen the light from the kitchen. Looking at the window it was still locked from the inside.

_ ‘Where the fuck did she go?! How could she have disappeared?!’ _ The impossibility of the situation almost made her forget what the letter had said, ‘head to your bathroom,’ what a load of shit she was in. She opened the door a crack, peeking out before sliding it open and surveying the kitchen and her hallway. She wanted to check on the kids to make sure they were safe, but her instincts were telling her the woman hadn’t an ill intent toward them. She made her way to the bathroom, only stopping to snag the radio from the kitchen counter with her free hand.

Drawing aside the curtain and flipping on the bathroom lights, she could clearly see there was no one hiding out for her.  _ ‘Why the fuck am I even entertaining this?’ _ “Shinji! Asuka! I’m going to take a bath before bed. Let me know if you want me to leave the water for you!”

A loud groan came before she heard Asuka, “No thanks! I’m not using your dirty bath water!” Shaking her head, Misato sighed.

“No thank you, miss Misato!” came Shinji’s reply.

She replied to them both before turning back to the tub, opening the hot water tap. She sat the radio she grabbed from the kitchen on the edge of it as she swiped her finger across the dial to bring the volume up.

“Thank you for coming here.”

Misato gasped and whirled around, redrawing her pistol. The woman was now seated in the chair a few feet away, hands still raised above her head, palms facing out. “Sorry for the scare, would’ve happened anyway.”

“Yeah, well for someone who doesn’t want to get shot, you’re doing an awfully poor job of appealing to my good side. Now spill, why break in just to get this information to me?”

The pistol was lowered and the woman’s hands followed. She looked down at her hands, face finally betraying an emotion with a heavy brow. She squeezed her fist, popping a few knuckles, before looking up at the Major from her hunched posture, “You really aren’t going to like this, and the kids need to hear this too. But I should level with you about a few things before we bring them in. In short, NERV’s end goal isn’t focused on preventing the Third Impact like they want everyone to believe. Gendo is trying to use the Evas, NERV, and the Angels so he can be reunited with Yui. Meanwhile, the organization SEELE is trying to go through more or less the same steps to arrive at a different conclusion, The Human Instrumentality Project. Gendo doesn’t really care what happens to the world, he just wants Yui, and SEELE are trying to turn themselves into a single Godlike being by merging their collective souls with an Evangelion and wiping out the rest of humanity.”

Misato stood and stared. The possibility that an outcome like that could exist made her shudder. She stared at the woman, not really seeing while she considered the possibility.

“You probably don’t believe me, I mean that’s reasonable. I just appeared in your bedroom, told you that you’re actually working toward the one goal that you’ve dedicated your life to prevent, and startled you again in your bathroom. But I can do my best to back up my claim,” Misato’s brown scrunched up even more, but she didn’t say anything. “You know the Evas are more than Ritsuko lets on, after Unit-01’s Berserk debut and losing it’s helmet you’d be hard pressed to not be suspicious. Just last night, you and Kaji were in the Terminal Dogma, you saw what he thought was Adam.” She finished with air quotes around Adam.

“Are- how could that not be Adam? That’s what I saw in Antarctica!”

“No it isn’t, and Kaji didn’t deceive you, I think. The Terminal Dogma houses the Second Angel, Lilith. She is the reason the Angel’s only ever attack Tokyo-3. They’re trying to fuse with her. The blood that drains out of Lilith is even what you all refer to as LCL. Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Big picture stuff first. Can I talk to Asuka and Shinji? Or, wait- we should have Rei here too, she can confirm most of this stuff.”

Misato just stood there, gawking at the woman. The tub was approaching two thirds full, the water had started to approach the spill hole as the radio broadcast blasted. She couldn’t figure out what to address. Her whole worldview was being turned on its head and forced inside out by this information. Even if the woman was a liar, the seed of doubt was now buried. She would have to second guess her every action for the Commander from now on. She started to sway a bit, feeling light headed she plopped down on the side of the tub and put her head in her hands.

“Hey look, I know this is asking you to take in too much information, but I came to you now because this is the best point for you to be able to handle the information. I want to help, not drown you.”

Misato shuddered, too in shock to really cry or shout or kick things about. She picked her head up out of her hands and glared at the woman. Her eyes were getting red and puffy. She couldn’t form words. There were too many questions to ask, questions she didn’t think she was ready to have answered.

“W-What are you trying… Why are you here? Who are you?!”

The woman blinked, and stiffened a bit before she gave Misato a sympathetic smile, “I probably should’ve started with that, sorry. It’s difficult to know what order to put the information in. I’m Tove. I’m uh… from a sort of ‘between dimensions’ place. I’ve seen what happens here and I wanted to help.”

_ ‘Well that only raises more questions. How can I know she’s serious? A ‘between dimension’ sounds even more far fetched than what she’s already said.’ _ More questions weren’t helping Misato right now, she didn’t know for sure where to start, but figured that anywhere would suffice. “How- no, what are you doing here? If you’re not just trying to make me look like a fool?”

“Like I said, I’m here to help. I’ve been able to see the path that this world is going down and I want to try to avoid it, if possible. My reasoning is probably fucked up, can’t help it,” she shrugged casually.

“How do you plan to help? I mean, you just showed up and started giving out information?”

“Well- Yeah, I guess. I would take action if I could, but NERV has too many prying eyes and, like I said, I’d like to not get shot. It wouldn’t kill me, but it would prevent me from coming back here to clean up the mess I’ve just caused.

That threw Misato for another loop. Death as a simple inconvenience. Tove tentatively reached out to put a hand on Misato’s shoulder. The Major didn’t react.

“Take your hot bath and have a cold beer. Digest the information I’ve given you, and tomorrow night we can try this again. Maybe you want to bring the kids into this then? I have difficult information that they really deserve to know,” she reached behind her and pulled out a can of beer, balancing it gently between herself and Misato on the edge of the tub. “Oh and ask Kaji for an ultrasonic noise generator. With his connections he’s bound to have one to loan to you.”

Misato brought her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose before she reeled again as the woman had vanished. The hot water filling her bath had just about reached the rim of the tub so she unthinkingly closed the tap and remained where she was. Letting out a heavy sigh, she forced herself to her feet. She really needed to digest the information the woman, Tove, had told her. The bath was calling her name. 

_ Shinji and Asuka are late to school. Misato asks Kaji some discrete questions in a decidedly not discreet way. And the bridge crew get some screen time. Next chapter, Old Connections. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice! _


	2. Old Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, forgot to upload this last night. Anyway this is chapter 2, please be kind to me and provide constructive criticism!

Chapter 2: Old Connections

The night had been restless for Misato, unable to get any real deep sleep, she picked herself up and moped to the kitchen, where Shinji and Pen Pen were tucked into their breakfasts. Asuka was busy doing homework and drinking coffee opposite Shinji, she was too distracted to make her usual comment on Misato’s appearance.

“Good morning miss Misato, breakfast is on the stove.”

Misato yawned and stretched, scratching at her side. She was barely awake, but a morning beer would fix that up.

“Uh… miss Misato?”

“Hmm? Oh, good morning, Shinji, sorry. I’m just tired from last night. Thanks for breakfast.”

“More like tired from sleeping all afternoon,” Asuka cut in, glaring up from her homework papers, “Hey! Shinji, what’s this question say?”

Sipping her beer, Misato snagged a probably clean fork from the sink and began picking at the food Shinji had prepared, trying her best to tune out the daily quarrel the pilots seemed required to start. She had to admit the kid was a good cook. Better than her normal diet of snack foods, beer, and cup noodles. Even if it meant that she had to do actual dishes on her assigned days on the chore chart. She glanced over to see Pen Pen leaving his freezer with a towel around his neck. Beer still up to her mouth, she turned back to the kitchen table, where the argument had escalated to the point that the pair were standing and getting in each other’s faces as much as they could from across the table. “Aren’t you two going to be late for school?”

In perfect synch, they looked to her, then to the clock, before vaulting off the table and grabbing their bags and dashing out the door, yelling goodbyes to her on their way out.

Sighing Misato downed the rest of her beer and scraped her breakfast into her mouth directly from the pan. She needed to get a move on too. But she couldn’t get over the events of last night. A woman appearing out of nowhere who claimed to be from another dimension told her secrets about NERV, and backed it up by pointing out the secret that only her and Kaji had witnessed the day before. Maybe this was a good day to call in sick.

The hum from the electric motor in her car never ceased to calm her nerves before work, but today it wasn’t helping nearly as much as it typically would have. The scenery passed by as she cruised toward the tunnel entrance to the lift that would bring her directly down to NERV headquarters. Today was going to be a long day with her mind distracted the way it was. She supposed she should ask Kaji if he knew anything about the woman since she had mentioned he could get her an ultrasonic noise generator. It was completely inevitable that she’d run into him at some point. He was alway around, trying to chat up her or Ritsuko or some other poor girl.  _ ‘Shameless flirt.’ _

She pulled her car into line in the tunnel, where a few cars ahead of her she could see Kaji’s red Lotus Elan pulling onto the car-train. ‘Maybe I’ll be able to catch him sooner than I expected to.’ Still, she didn’t want to make it seem like anything was out of the ordinary. Maybe she could make up some excuse to talk to him about losing one of her heels on the way home from the wedding would probably be good enough.

Pulling her car onto the last spot on the lift, the blast doors labeled C-22 Special Express shut behind her and the train gently took off for the GeoFront. There wasn’t enough room for her to open her door, so she climbed out the passenger’s window and started moving up the train to Kaji’s car.

“HEY! KAJI!” She could see his ponytailed head perk up in the little red convertible of his.

“Morning, Katsuragi! You’re up early, or on time, as it were.”

_ ‘Stupid jerk, I’ll show him ‘on time’,' _ “Jerk! You lost one of my shoes on the way back from the wedding!” She crawled across the hood of a car on her way up the train, the owner of the car shook his fist and laid on the horn. “Don’t have such a big car asshole, some of us need to get by!” Flipping him off she squeezed around the next car. Making it to the Lotus as they exited the ceiling of the GeoFront, she continued her verbal assault, “You asshole! Those were my nice heels!”

Misato hopped over the door into the passenger’s seat and started rummaging around for a pen and paper. “Uh, you ok there, Katsuragi?” He eyed her like she had grown a second face, like Sachiel had after the N2 Mine had been dropped on it. Finding a scrap piece and a marker she started writing.

“No! You lost one of my heels, you’ve gotta buy me a replacement pair,” but the paper said something else.  _ I need an Ultrasonic Noise Generator by the end of the day, can you do that? _

He glanced at the paper before meeting her eyes again, “Yeah ok, I think I can manage that, let’s get lunch and talk about it. I’ll even treat you to some curry from that one shop in the food court you like.” Misato nodded and started to write again.

“Good, I’ll meet you on level F-13.”  _ Have you ever met a woman named Tove? Tall, ashy hair, amber eyes? _

“No, how about I just come up to the command bridge and we can see if the others want to join us?”

“Fine, just don’t keep me waiting.”

Misato climbed back out of the car and left Kaji with a wave. Making a face at the driver, she climbed back across the hood of the same car as before, and slipped into her window just as the car-train pulled up to the docking station. She had a lot to think about today and she knew every action the Commander and Ritsuko would take would make her suspicious of them.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened and she was able to finish the paperwork from the night before in her office before reporting to the command bridge to review tactics. The bridge crew were all quite friendly and made for good work friends, so she figured being genuine with them about lunch would keep them from becoming suspicious. Distracting people with her “indecent romance” as Asuka would call it. The poor girl was so desperate to grow up and yet she couldn’t even treat a relationship between two adults with any amount of seriousness. ‘She’s still so young, too young for the responsibility she has. Worrying about homework and boys should be the extent of her troubles.’

“Good Morning Major Katsuragi,” Hyuga was quick to say, as the elevator brought her up to the bridge. She smiled lightly and returned the greeting to all three of the bridge crew. Makoto Hyuga was nice, but he clearly had some feelings for her that she didn’t intend to reciprocate.

“No Ritsuko yet? I finally beat her to work.” She beamed at the trio only to crumble as Ritsuko’s blonde hair slid out from underneath Maya’s terminal.

“Nice try, Misato, I’ve been helping Maya for about ten minutes now,” she smirked and slipped back under the small woman’s terminal. Misato could clearly see her fighting back a blush as she cuddled her cat pillow to her chest. The young woman was so short that she needed a pillow to sit at the proper height to work at her computer.

“Good morning Major Katsuragi,” Aoba returned her greeting from the far side of the bridge.

“What’s on the agenda today, Ritsuko?” Major Katsuragi called as she approached.

“Shouldn’t that be your job to know, Major Katsuragi,” the blonde teased from the backside of the desk. “Ok, Maya, boot it back up and see how that works.” Fumbling the pillow, she nodded and started up her terminal. A quick dive into a few programs, and she scooted back to look at Ritsuko under the desk.

“It’s fixed, thank you Ritsuko-senpai,” she beamed at the scientist as she slipped out from under the terminal.

“We’re finishing getting the computers back to normal operation spec still. It’s mostly just diagnostics and tweaking little things. We did a number on the MAGI trying to stop Ireul, and it’s taking time to make sure everything is at operating capacity. Right, Maya?”

“O-oh yes! There’s not much for you to do today, Major. It’s mostly stuff for us, and Ritsuko-senpai today.” She slipped the cat pillow back underneath herself and turned to the computer to get caught up on the work to the MAGI’s system. Misato pretended she didn’t notice the small blush that crept across Maya’s face as Ritsuko was leaning against the console next to her, lost in sorting through her paperwork.

“Would you all come to lunch with me? Kaji owes me and I don’t want him getting any ideas about this being a date or anything,” Misato grumbled, though she didn’t have the energy to put her usual effort into dismissing the thought of the Special Inspector’s advances. She felt too in her own head to prod at the relationship between Maya and Ritsuko like she usually would if she had the chance. Ritsuko pointed out as much.

“You in there, Misato? You’re usually a bit more adamant about keeping Kaji off your back. Did something happen after the bar at the wedding the other night?” she glanced up from her papers with a smirk plastered to her face, but it quickly melted when she saw the far away look in Misato’s eyes.

Time dragged on, and eventually the lift came up with one Special Inspector Ryoji Kaji leaning on the railing. “Your lunch escort has arrived, Major Katsuragi.”

It was a moment before Misato glanced up from what Hyuga was showing her on his screen, “Hmm, yeah that looks good, Hyuga. Are you all joining us?” She directed her gaze at Ritsuko who was still working with Maya as she stood by the lift Kaji was waiting in.

“Maya and I are making good headway right now, we’ll try to catch up in a bit,” She peaked over at Misato with an expression that told her all she needed to know. “What about Aoba and Hyuga?”

“I’m actually getting lunch with some of the guys from the EVA pens today. Looks like it's just Hyuga with you guys,” Aoba responded as he closed up his terminal.

Hyuga closed out of his programs, and turned to face the Major, “Sorry, I just remembered I have some errands I’ve got to run. Next time.” He walked to the other lift and left the bridge before anyone else could respond. Kaji smirked, glanced around Misato at Ritsuko, who returned the expression.

“Guess he doesn’t feel like he can compete with me for your affection, eh Katsuragi?”

“You’re the worst.” She smacked the button, sending the lift down on him.

“You know you’ve just got to wait for it to come back up now.” 

_ Asuka faces a regular day at school when she receives a message from Misato. Hikari makes plans to make a move. And Rei rides a train with Asuka. Next chapter: Calm Before The Storm. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice! _


	3. Calm Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short chapter this time. Asuka begins to maybe not hate Rei, and reflects a little bit. I might come back to fill this out a bit more, but I'm content for the time being. I think I'm going to start doing a couple sentences at the end like Misato's "Next Episode" bits, I can't resist thinking about the catchy music when I finish writing a chapter.

Chapter 3: Calm Before The Storm

Asuka sighed as she stared out the window. Hikari was talking in hushed tones about how cute Toji was again. Looking back at the jock, he was stuffing his mouth with as much food as he could while Kensuke and Shinji cheered him on. Honestly she couldn’t see what Hikari saw in him. None of the three stooges appealed to her really. They were just ignorant kids. Unlike Kaji.  _ ‘I don’t get why he doesn’t see me as an adult!’ _ Asuka flashed back to the last night aboard the Over The Rainbow with Kaji. _ ‘I’m the best Eva pilot, which I guess doesn’t say much when the competition is between those two idiots.’ _

Switching her view from Shinji and the other two members of the idiot trio, her eyes landed on Rei who wasn’t even eating lunch. The emotionally withdrawn pilot was gazing out the window, same as always. Absently Asuka sipped from her water bottle while Hikari continued to drone on about Toji and how she was hoping he’d accept if she made lunch for him.

“Yeah I don’t see why not, he’s like a bottomless pit, he’ll eat anything.”

“You think he’ll like what I make?” Hikari giggled and hid her face, Asuka guessed the idiots had glanced their way. Hikari really needed better taste. But she didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so Asuka dragged her gaze off of Rei and onto Hikari.

“He’d have to have no sense of taste, Hikari. Though I guess he is an idiot.” The last part Asuka mumbled to herself. “Just like Mr. Kaji never seems to notice me. Maybe he needs to get glasses. Remind me to ask him next time.”

“You’re always so hung up on Mr. Kaji, why don’t you go out with someone from school? You always say he likes Miss Katsuragi anyway.” Asuka didn’t want to agree with her, but after Kaji had practically carried Misato’s drunk ass home the other night and almost completely ignored her to head home, she wasn’t sure what else she could do to draw his attention. She had tried nearly everything she could think of and yet the only attention he gave her was that of a guardian.

Truth be told, Asuka wasn’t actually terribly interested in an adult relationship with Kaji. The career spy was just a means for her to receive attention and recognition that she was an independent adult. She wanted to be recognized for her skills so everyone could see her worth. Not that Asuka would ever admit to that. She’d rather die than have anyone discover her deepest darkest secrets.

Her phone suddenly buzzed from her desk.  _ ‘Who the heck needs me? I don’t even have that many contacts.’ _ Surprisingly, it was a message from Misato. Her guardian never messaged her. Which was probably saying something about her situation at home, but she was too distracted to dwell on it.

**‘asuka plz tell rei to come w/you & shinji 2day. need to plan our options 4 the nxt angel’**

How was this woman her guardian again? Seriously, she couldn’t cook, or clean, or even type properly. And now she had to talk to the First because idiot Shinji had most likely forgotten his phone at home again.

“Hey! Wonder Girl!”

Rei shifted her emotionless gaze to Asuka, “Yes, Pilot Soryu?” Her blood red eyes had made Asuka uncomfortable at the start, but at the same time it was hard to not be intrigued by them. After all, who has red eyes?

“You’re coming home with Shinji and me.” Rei opened her mouth to respond but Asuka cut her off, “Misato’s orders, so no getting out of it. She wants to have a powwow with the three pilots. I’m the only one who should get the briefing, but I guess you two idiots are supposed to tag along.” The usual amount of not-so-subtle bragging marked the end of the conversation. Asuka thought NERV should just leave everything to her. She’d be able to defeat all the Angels if those two would stop getting in her way.  _ ‘Maybe it’ll even become true if I say it to myself enough.’ _

“Wait, miss Misato wants to talk to us at home? Wouldn’t it make more sense if we went to NERV HQ?”

“Ugh! Maybe if you didn’t forget your phone at home again you could’ve asked Misato that yourself, Shinji!” Asuka was beginning to get a headache from talking to him already. She couldn’t believe she had actually thought that kissing him could make her feel like she was worth something.

By the time Asuka’s attention had returned to her, Rei had already gone back to staring out the window.  _ ‘If anyone should get to not pay attention in class it should be me. I shouldn’t have to go all the way back to middle school just because I suck at reading kanji.’ _

“Asuka, today is my day to clean up, tell miss Misato that I’ll be home a bit later.”

She shot a withering glare at Shinji and then leaned over to mumble to Hikari, “Can you believe him? He’s just trying to get out of whatever Misato is going to have us do. With your dedication maybe you should’ve been the Third Children instead of him, Hikari.” She looked at Asuka funny for a moment. Hikari didn’t think she had the skills or ambition to even try if she were given the chance. Her best bet was to graduate top of the class , get married (to Toji), and figure the rest of her life out from there.

The bell rang and students sluggishly returned to their seats, not eager to listen to their ancient teacher get distracted from the lesson on some Pre-Impact analogy, tangent, or story. The sunlight crept through windows and across the floor as the afternoon dragged on. Different subjects and topics that posed a challenge to the class just left Asuka yawning and scribbling small drawings along the margins of her notebooks. She never raised her hand, having established early on that she knew the material, yet the teacher still called on her despite Hikari’s insistent hand raising. The clock hands crept around the face, until finally they let the bell know it was time to send the kids home.

As Shinji had said, he stayed back to clean up the classroom, meaning Asuka was stuck with Wonder Girl, and she wasn’t the best conversationalist in Asuka’s opinion. For Asuka, the trip home seemed to drag on almost as slowly as the rest of the day had. She boarded the train with Rei, but was startled when Rei took the seat next to her, looking like she had something to say. “Second,” the Unit-00 Pilot began, “do you know why Major Katsuragi requested my presence? This is an unusual occurrence.”

From anyone else the use of her title, Second Children, was acknowledgement of her pilot status and worth. But when it came from the First, it felt different. Wrong. “Stop calling me that already. The Commander isn’t here to tell you how to do everything so you don’t have to call me Second. If you want to talk like a normal person, call me by my name.”

“My apologies, Sec- Soryu. I did not mean to offend. I thought you enjoyed being called the Second Children.”

“Well, yeah! But not when it’s Hikari or the idiots, or even you. If you’re gonna talk to me call me by my name. Unless you’re really just the Commander’s doll, doing everything he orders and nothing more.”

Rei’s brow furrowed ever so subtly. She probably wouldn’t have caught it, had she not been glaring at Ayanami’s face. Asuka still thought she was a doll.

“Soryu, do you know why Major Katsuragi has need of me?”

“She said she wanted to go over strategies for fighting the next Angel. I have no idea why she wants to do this now instead one of the days when we actually go into NERV,” Asuka crossed her arms and turned away.

Rei was silent for the rest of the train ride and maintained it through the door to Misato’s apartment. Asuka unlocked the door and stomped inside, past the stacked boxes of her things that still didn’t fit in her or Shinji’s room. Rei simply slipped off her shoes and followed the redheaded pilot into the kitchen where Asuka began digging through the cabinets looking for something to eat. Eventually she decided a cup of noodles was as good as the very limited selection had to offer, filled the kettle and turned to face Rei.

“Well are you going to sit down? Or do you have to be ordered to do that too?” Asuka huffed as she shouldered past Rei on her way to her room. It was not lost on Rei that Asuka hadn’t offered her any food or drink.

Rei remained standing and took in the Major’s apartment. A few beer cans and empty cup noodles were strewn about the kitchen counter and available surfaces in the living room, betraying Misato’s lack of domestic skills. Even Shinji must not have the patience to clean up after his guardian’s messes all the time. The synchronized dance mats from practicing to fight the Seventh Angel were rolled up and tucked behind the cabinet, while the coffee table was covered in what must be the Major’s car magazines and some NERV paperwork.

Asuka returned from her room with a notebook under her arm, a pen tucked into the spirals. She slapped it down on the counter and pointedly refused to acknowledge the First Children’s presence as she fixed her noodles, plopping down in one of the kitchen chairs. Blowing on the cup to cool the hot water, she flipped open the notebook, no, a sketchbook, and tapped the still capped pen against her lips.

A few silent minutes passed until Rei finally pulled out a chair and quietly said, “I did not know you were an artist, Soryu.”

Asuka looked up from her sketchbook, “I’m not an artist. I just make technical drawings when I don’t have anything else to do. It’s something I picked up during my engineering degree when I was back in Germany.”

Rei tilted her head slightly as her face twitched in a manner that someone who had never felt emotions might if they had been told to display what confusion looked like. “I was unaware that you had attended a university. Why do you continue to go to school and receive bad grades if you have already received a degree?” There was genuine confusion lightly dusting Rei’s words, as much emotion as Asuka had ever seen the pilot show.

“Because stupid NERV makes me. I’m smarter than everyone in that stupid school, but they make me go because I still can’t read kanji well. I should be working on the Evas with the engineers, but instead I’m stuck with you, Hikari, and the three stooges,” she flipped back through some of the pages, landing on a sketch of Unit-02’s head. “I’ve been training to be a pilot since I was seven. I’ve been learning as much as I can to make sure I’m number one and nothing I do ever seems to compete with you and Shinji. How did you get to be the Commander’s favorite doll anyway, Ayanami?”

Rei’s gaze lingered around the pen drawing of Unit-02, the silence growing, until Asuka’s patience had finally broken. “Your noodles are getting cold, Soryu.” The wind was taken out of Asuka’s sails at that. “I am sorry they treat you like you are a child. I did not do anything to gain the Commander’s attention, other than simply existing.” Her blood red eyes sharpened as they were drawn up to meet Asuka’s ocean blue ones. “And I am not a doll.”

Asuka wanted to wither under the strength of the other pilot’s gaze, but to do so was to admit that she wasn’t as great as she made herself out to be. She held on as long as she could, but the other thing the First Children had said swam back to the front of her mind. She broke the impromptu staring contest and dug into her noodles. They weren’t great, but they were something to hold her over until idiot Shinji got home to make them dinner. She looked over her shoulder at the calendar posted to the fridge. It was Misato’s day to cook dinner. “Fuck.”

Turning back to Rei, she saw the same not-quite-expression from before, “It’s Misato’s day to cook, that means we’re getting take-out. Probably just rice and noodles. She never wants to spend any money on anything but beer and her car. Hope you weren’t holding out for a steak dinner or something, Ayanami.” Rei opened her mouth, “Yeah yeah, I remember you don’t eat meat. No need to remind me.” Asuka dug back into her noodles, a forlorn expression masking her face as she stared into the drawing of Unit-02’s eye lenses.

Rei remained expressionless, but she was perplexed. There was little in the Second Children’s mannerisms that suggested that she held anything but contempt for the First. Rei’s analysis had apparently been incorrect though, as after the battle against the tenth Angel Asuka had forgone her choice of a fancy gourmet restaurant, all so Rei could join them. And the redhead had even remembered her preference in cuisine weeks after the fact.

“I think I must apologize, Soryu.”

Asuka lifted an eyebrow.  _ ‘What the hell is she talking about? I can’t even think of something she should apologize for right now.’ _ “What are you talking about?”

“I had misjudged you, Soryu. I believed you did not care for anyone, other than to have someone to belittle and build yourself up. I now see that is not true, you do pay attention to others.”

Asuka’s face flushed red, embarrassed, and her eyes snapped up to the other pilot’s. Rei had a straight face, betraying no emotion as was typical of her. Stammering, Asuka tried to string together a sentence to prove she was a loner who was above caring for others, especially Wonder Girl. A beat passed. Asuka inhaled deeply then released it. The redhead glared across the table. Without saying anything, she turned her head down to the sketchbook and flipped to a fresh page. 

_ The children are all gathered at Misato's apartment where they get to meet the interdimensional interloper. The origin of the Evas is revealed. And Rei has to make a difficult choice. Next chapter, Lifting The Shroud. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice! _


	4. Lifting The Shroud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is somewhat longer than last chapter, and gets into the original story I wanted to tell. Then things spiraled out of control and it's becoming a longer and longer story.

Chapter 4: Lifting The Shroud

Plastic grocery bags swinging at her side, Misato elbowed the door open and dumped the bags on the floor to remove her boots.

“About time you got back, Misato. We’ve been waiting for whatever you needed us all here for.”

Asuka was impatient as always.  _ ‘Little brat. I really should try harder with Asuka, she doesn’t need to be so wrapped up in herself.’ _ Misato dumped the grocery bags on the table, making eye contact with Rei, who looked up from her book, “Hello, Major.”

“Hi Rei, how are you?”

“I’m good, ma’am.”

“Glad to hear it,” Misato glanced at Asuka sitting in the living room with her sketchbook in her lap, then down the hall to Shinji’s bedroom, “Have those two been behaving?”

“Yes”

“Well that’s good to hear.”  _ ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever understand Rei. She’s just so… detached.’ _ Misato slipped into her room to change out of her work clothes. She had to figure out what she was going to tell the kids.  _ ‘Telling the kids that some random person they had never met was going to lay out all of NERV’s secrets will definitely not help Shinji and Asuka believe anything she had to say. Those two probably won’t believe Tove either. How am I going to make this work?'  _ Slipping on a pair of cutoffs and a tank top, she spun around and froze. The woman from last night was in her room again.

“Hey there. Sorry for the scare again. It’s not intentional, mostly.” One corner of her mouth crept up in a slight smirk. She dropped Misato’s jacket, ultrasonic noise generator in hand, “Glad you were able to get this, it’ll make this conversation a lot less stressful for me.”

Heart still pumping, Misato gave her best glare, “Will you quit showing up like that? How do you even do it? Some kind of light bending camouflage? Actually, it doesn’t matter. How are we doing this? Gather in the bathroom again?”

“No that’s not necessary this time,” Tove displayed the ultrasonic noise generator again. “You just need to close the blinds so I can’t be seen from the window. Then I’ll come out and introduce myself. See where things go from there.” Tove continued to lean casually against the wall, refusing to acknowledge just how strange of a situation this was for Misato.

The Major put her head in her hand and glared at the taller woman. She couldn’t believe she was about to let this person get near not just one, but all of the Evangelion pilots. It wasn’t a safe move or a smart move, but it was the one her gut said was the right one. “Fine. This had better be some seriously important information. And you had better not hurt the children.”

Tove nodded and remained leaning against the wall.

Misato steadied herself and left the bedroom, seeing Rei’s sharp gaze lock onto her as soon as she was within line of sight. Rei did not say anything, but her eyes remained locked on Misato. Breaking away, Misato approached Shinji’s room. Knocking twice, she called for him and headed back to the living room where she shut the blinds.

“Hey, I was using the light to see.”

“Sorry Asuka, this is going to be a private conversation, and I don’t want anyone spying.” Misato didn’t face her, she simply peered out of a gap in the blinds to watch as the sun started to come down over Tokyo-3. She could still feel Rei’s stare locked onto the back of her head.

Shinji entered the room, one earbud still in his ear, “What’s going on, miss Misato?”

“Someone came to me recently with …information about NERV. I’m reluctant to believe her, but she pointed out a few things that I had already had concerns about. Two nights ago, after Kaji brought me home I followed him back to NERV HQ. He showed me something that I didn’t want to believe. But I saw it with my own two eyes. I can’t deny it. This woman confirmed that she also knew what’s down there.”

Misato finally turned to face the children. “Tove, you may as well come out.”

Misato’s bedroom door opened gently, and Tove stepped out to the surprise of Shinji and Asuka.

“Where the hell did she come from?! I’ve been right here since Rei and I got home from school!” Understandably, Asuka was freaked out. “Have you been in there all day watching me? Perv!”

“M-miss Misato? Wha- how did she get here? Who is she?”

Rei didn’t say anything, but she locked her piercing gaze onto the woman as she stood from her seat. Misato took a deep breath.

“I’ve got this,” Tove spoke, eyeing the Major before she took in the three teenage pilots. “I promise you all, I’m not here to hurt anyone. I’m trying to help you all. NERV isn’t as benevolent as they seem and I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire. I’m Tove. I’m not from here. As in this dimension. Not like ‘here’ as in Tokyo-3.” Wide eyes grew even wider. Shinji and Asuka stared at Tove.

“What do you think we are? Idiots!? You can’t be from another dimension!”

“Why not? You’re literally Earth’s last line of defense against Angels, giant aliens in case you forgot, and you fight them in giant robots that ignore Square Cube Law. Is it that strange that I could be from another dimension?”

Asuka opened her mouth ready to argue, but couldn’t seem to come up with any reasoning that truly disproved what Tove was saying. Shinji didn’t look like he had anything to say either. He stood there with one earbud in as the SDAT continued playing, unaffected by the discussion at hand. Rei hadn’t moved from her standing position, but she had not let her gaze wither either. The young pilot was much stronger willed than Asuka would ever give her credit for.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter if I’m from another dimension, Tokyo-2, or the moon. What’s important here is that all of you are safe. And I think I can help with that.” Misato nodded at that and walked toward the kitchen.

“Let’s get dinner going so we can have this conversation over a meal. I’m sure eating something will help us all to digest whatever we learn,” turning on the tap, she let the sound of the water end the conversation.

Shinji and Asuka both stared while Rei sat back down, having not moved from the edge of the table. Tove couldn’t make eye contact with any of the three children, preferring to take an interest in fiddling with the ultrasonic noise generator still in her hand. It was a small piece of tech, a small pill shaped device roughly the same dimensions as a car key. Split in two perforated halves, the device could be twisted to turn it on or off. She glanced up at the two pilots before shrugging off her jacket as she headed to the table. The folded jacket was placed on the floor and Tove knelt on it, her excessive height more than enough to make her comfortable at the table.

Rei’s red eyes locked onto Tove once more, though she still didn’t say anything. The water boiling on the stove was the only thing cutting through the weighted silence. She set the ultrasonic noise generator on the center of the table where it would remain for the rest of the night.

Relenting at last, Asuka and Shinji took their seats at the table, Asuka next to Rei, and Shinji sat across from the pair. Misato’s chair remained opposite from Tove while the Major filled - who would’ve guessed - various flavors of cup noodles, stir fry, and ramen. Asuka, still stuck with her head wrapped around an extra dimensional being sitting down to dinner with them, absently passed the vegetarian noodles to Rei and took the seafood one for herself. Shinji took the chicken and Misato had the beef, leaving a barbecue flavored one for Tove.

“I think the best place to start would be the Evas themselves. What can you tell me about them? So I know where to start.”

Slurping up her noodles, Misato took in the faces around her and began, “The Evangelions are, ‘the ultimate man made multipurpose decisive combat weapon: the artificial human,’ to quote Ritsuko. Shinji, you saw Eva-01 without it’s helmet on during your first combat sortie.” Glancing back to Tove, Misato continued, “They’re not robots like the world seems to assume, but a cyborg would be more accurate. Are you saying they’re something other than that?”

“No, that’s correct, more correct than you know, actually.” The scents of dinner wafted throughout the apartment. “Although that description is best fit to Unit-01 specifically, whereas the others are a little different. Evangelions are derived from Adam, the first Angel, which is why they have cores and regenerative properties similar to Angels. Adam and the Angels are an alternate take on humans.”  _ ‘And a decent sounding band name.’ _

“Wait so Shinji’s Eva is special? Of course, no wonder why you keep getting so lucky. They must’ve given you the most powerful Unit to make up for your complete lack of ability.” Asuka pounded her fist on the table splashing broth from her shrimp noodles.

“Hey that’s not fair! I didn’t even have a choice in becoming a pilot.

Misato was quiet and Tove just looked amused while Asuka and Shinji bickered back and forth about the Evas. “Are you saying they could turn and attack us at any point?” They stopped to look at Misato. “Can the Evas hurt us? Are they safe piloting these things?”

“You don’t have to worry about them turning on you. That is not a possibility.”

Shinji lifted his hand, curling into a fist, “What about ...when Unit-01 went Berserk with me in it the first time?” He didn’t want to look away from his dinner, afraid that he would see the truth, that he could or even would be attacked by Unit-01.

“Shinji no. I promise you’re completely safe from the Evas. All three of you are. The only danger from being in an Eva is the inevitability of combat. They could never harm any of you. They don’t want any harm to ever come to any of you.” Tove squeezed his hand as he finally drew his eyes up to meet her amber ones. “We will come back to the incident with Berserk mode in a bit. Evas are all created from Adam, however, Unit-01 was created from Lilith, the second Angel. I don’t know exactly the purpose for this, but the basics are that the Angels are the life forms derived from Adam and humans are life forms derived from Lilith.”

Misato swallowed, “What are Adam and Lilith? You said that thing in the Terminal Dogma was Lilith, but what does that mean?”

“That isn’t important yet, but to make it short, Adam was sent to bring life to this planet and Lilith accidentally ended up here as well. Two ‘Seeds of Life’ as they’re called cannot exist on the same planet at the same time so Adam went into hibernation. Humans waking him up is what caused the Second Impact.” She cut off Misato who was about to interject, “You and I can get more into detail about that later, it is unimportant to the conversation at hand.”

Uncomfortable faces were displayed from everyone with the exception of Rei.

“The next thing we have to discuss revolves around Rei, and yes we have to cover this. I think you know what we have to tell them.” Tove and Rei held each other’s gaze. In a much softer voice she asked, “Do you want to let them know or should I? The decision is yours.”

“What’s Wonder Girl got to do with this? Don’t tell me they created you to pilot the Evas,” Asuka glared at the girl next to her.

“That is not quite correct, Soryu.”

“Good. If you were, I’d say you’re really the Commander’s doll-“

“Asuka.”

Rei’s use of Asuka’s first name stopped the other pilot in her tracks.

“I have told you I am replaceable.”

“Ayanami. How many-“

“There are more Rei’s to replace me, should I fall. More Rei Ayanami’s.”

Silence suddenly smothered the room. Rei stared into her bowl. Subtle tension put the faintest of cracks in her standard emotionless mask.

“Do you mean... copies? Clones?” Misato, voice thick, broke the silence.

“Yes.”

Shinji just stared at her. Tove eased a hand onto Rei’s back, slowly rubbing small circles.

“Rei,” she didn’t meet Asuka’s look. “This is what you meant. You’re literally replaceable.”

The blood red eyes of the clone were open, but they didn’t see, they just stared into the remains of her ramen, as if it were a sanctuary.  Rei was feeling something she didn’t quite know how to understand. It felt like there was a knot inside her chest tied with a frozen rope. Tove’s hand was rubbing warmth into her back, but it was only just holding back the icy grip in her chest. Asuka hadn’t moved an inch. She was stuck, mouth agape, staring at Rei. “Rei. Are you going to be alright? Do you need to take a break?” Rei paused, considering the question. She wasn’t feeling well, but seemed fine otherwise. She relayed that to Tove, who furrowed her brow more and asked, “You might not  _ need _ it, but do you  _ want _ to? We can stop for a moment if you’re feeling uncomfortable.”

“ ...I will be ok, we can continue.”

Tove hesitated, but relented and released her after one last squeeze of her shoulder.

“Rei.”

The girls looked at Shinji.

“H- how many others have there been? Does- does my father just get a new Rei whenever he feels like it?”

She shook her head, “No. The Commander does not like seeing me injured. I believe I am only the second.”

Tove stirred around the remains of her stir fry, “Rei, you are the only you that will ever exist. There may be other ‘Ayanami-types’, but you are the only one that will ever be you. Would you like me to tell them the rest?”

Asuka had unfrozen, but she was still looking at Rei with raised eyebrows and her eyes passing over the girl. As if she were looking for some kind of mark that would give her away as artificial.

“Rei. If you’d like to use the bathroom or take a break in the meantime you can.” She didn’t make any move to get up so Tove continued, “Ok, Shinji. A few days ago you told Rei that she could make a good housewife some day”

Asuka whipped her head to glare, “You idiot! You can’t say that to a girl!”

“H-how did you know about that?!”

“Shinji.”

Tove firmly grasped his hand in both of hers.

“Please, repeat what you told Ayanami then.”

“Uh- I, uh, I-I told Rei that the way she wrung out a cloth seemed like the way a mother would.”

“Why would you ever say that to a girl!”

“Asuka, not now.” Tove glared at the redhead, who shrank back.

“Shinji. Look at Rei’s face. Really take a close look.”

He looked confused, rightfully so, before he shifted his gaze to the pilot seated across from him. He didn’t know what he was looking for in her face.

“Picture Rei with different colored hair and eyes. Green eyes and brown hair, like yours.”

“…What am I looking for? It’s just Rei.”

“Yes. Rei, a clone. A clone of who?”

A memory flashed through Shinji’s mind. A woman with brown hair and green eyes, staring down at him. He stiffened. Another memory. The woman with brown hair and green eyes. She wore a garment similar to a plug suit and waved at him through protective glass.

“…no,” it came out so softly that no one but Shinji could hear it. “No, she can’t be. She can’t be!”

“Can’t be who?”

Misato was the one to answer Asuka’s question. “She’s a clone of Shinji’s mother. Yui Ikari.”

“NO!”

_ Struggling with unfamiliar feelings, Rei makes a decision. More truths about the natures of the Evas are revealed. And Tove gives the pilots information about the coming Angels. Next chapter, The Mother Of All Secrets. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice! _


	5. The Mother Of All Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 4-6 were the original story I wrote, before going back and adding the first 3 once I realized I was going to make this into a much longer story. I also did a lot of rewriting for this chapter, so there may be some mistakes that slipped through.
> 
> There's also a short description of a panic attack, so if it's written wrong, let me know and I'll make the necessary adjustments.

Chapter 5: The Mother Of All Secrets

Tove refused to let Shinji go. He tried to thrash and shout. Cry and plead. But he knew. Somehow he knew it was as true as could be. Rei Ayanami was a clone of his mother. And who could be at the root of such a terrifying action, but his father?

Rei stared down into the remains of her broth again. She felt heavy, heavy as lead. She turned her head to Asuka, who was somehow still sitting by her side as her terrible truth was revealed. Rei knew they wouldn’t want her around any longer, now that they knew the type of monster she was . As she stood to make for the door though, Asuka’s hand snapped out to catch her own. Rei’s eyes snapped back to meet Asuka’s inscrutable expression. Rei expected Asuka to want nothing to do with her after this had been revealed, so why wouldn’t she let go of Rei’s hand? Misato and Tove were caring for the now nearly catatonic Shinji. If Rei left, Asuka would be alone again with no one to be there for her.

“Rei,” Asuka started, unsure of what to say. “Rei you’re Shinji’s mother?”

“No. I am a clone of Yui Ikari.”

Asuka’s grip refused to lessen on her hand.

“...that’s what I meant.”

Rei didn’t respond to that.

“Do you know… if there is a clone of my mother? Is she still alive?”

Oh. Rei had been informed about Asuka’s mother. The woman had half of her soul sucked into Unit-02’s core, and the shell that was left was sent to a psych ward where she had tried to kill Asuka before hanging herself alongside a doll that her shattered mind thought was her daughter.

“No. I was created because the Commander wanted to bring back Yui. They tried to find Yui’s soul in the Chamber of Guf, but mine was the only one. I’m sorry, Asuka.”  She tried to pull away, but Asuka’s grip tightened to a nearly painful level. Rei looked down at their joined hands, then back into Asuka’s far off look.  “Why won’t you let go? Don’t I disgust you?”

“I’m sorry. For calling you favored. I didn’t know.”

Rei stopped and met Asuka’s gaze. The normally brash and unapologetic pilot now looked terribly somber and reluctant. Rei felt the warmth from her hands slowly soaking into her own usually cool hands and considered the sensation. She was allowing herself to open up to another person, and it felt comforting.

Rei remained in place, considering what she should do. Returning to her apartment and never speaking of this revelation was what she expected the Commander would order her to do, if he didn’t outright have her replaced with a successor. But Rei decided it was best to remain at the apartment. A foreign emotion encouraged her to remain at the apartment, and she assumed it was because she thought she should be present if secrets were being revealed. She pushed the chair closer to Asuka’s and sat back down, their hands still joined. “Thank you,” came the redhead’s voice, light enough to be missed had she not just sat so close. If learning of just a few of the horrific acts required to secure the future the Commander wanted drove her friends to the states they were currently in, maybe the Commander was wrong.  _ ‘I will have to think about this later. Perhaps I can ask Doctor Akagi about these feelings as well.’ _

Regardless, being there for Asuka when no one else was felt right to her. She didn’t know exactly what kinds of things a ‘friend’ did, but a warmth ignited inside her at the thought of helping Asuka. It even grew when she thought about being able to extend the same gesture to Shinji.

“Asuka. Asuka. Look at me.”

Her deep blue eyes became slightly more focused once they found Rei’s face. Asuka was deep in thought, her mind drowning in things that she never wanted to think about again.

“Asuka, can you hear me?”

She blinked once. Twice. Then took a shaky breath, “You’re just like me, Rei. We would be nothing without Eva.   


Shinji had gone nearly catatonic from the revelation that Rei was a clone of his mother. Miss Misato was there, saying something that he couldn’t hear over the blood rushing through his ears. Rei was a clone of his mother.

The other woman was there too. Her amber eyes trying to penetrate whatever fog had taken over his mind. She was the one that forced this truth on him. He had never asked for this. Rei was a clone of his mother.

“…ou hea… …e”

His father must be the one responsible for the idea in the first place. His father had given up on him, and in an attempt to chase the ghost of his mother, Rei was created as a clone of Yui Ikari.

“…inji! Shinji! Can you hear me? Take some deep breaths, Shinji.” That was Misato. She cared for him, even if she wasn’t good at it. It was better than the distance his father had forced between them. “Shinji, you’re having a panic attack. Focus. Can you name something you can see?”

Why would he care about being able to see something? He was preoccupied with hating his father.

“I- the- chore chart.”

“Good, two more things.”

“Eyes. A-Amber. Asuka’s red hair.”

“Excellent. Last two things you can see.”

“M-miss Misato’s cross. The ramen.”

Misato glanced at Tove, who was holding his wrists so he didn’t hurt himself. Scratch marks ran down his cheeks from where he had dragged his nails down his own face. Tove handled him better than she could hope to.

“Good, Shinji. Now four things you can feel.”

Tove had Shinji list things he could hear, things he could smell, and finally one thing he could taste. Shinji was back, but he wasn’t ok. Tove told Misato to stay by his side while she checked on Asuka and Rei. Rei said that she didn’t matter, just to help Asuka. Asuka glared at her for that, but she didn’t toss out one of her usual sassy remarks. Tove put a hand over Rei and Asuka’s joined hands and the other on Asuka’s shoulder.

“Asuka. Asuka, we’re here for you. Myself, Rei, Misato. Even Shinji is here for you.”

Rei nodded in agreement.

“Asuka, will you be ok if we continue? I know this has been hard, but there are still more things you all need to know. Things that won’t be easy to understand.”

That was enough to get a snort out of the redhead. “I’ll- I’ll manage. This is just- just a  _ lot _ .” Her eyes locked on Tove’s as she spoke. Rei looked like she wanted to say something, but held her tongue. The room, still thick with the tension, was quiet yet Tove knew she had to get the full picture to them. A quick glance to the ultrasonic noise generator displayed a green battery light.

“C’mon. We still have much more to cover. It’s best if we can move past this. There is still one more thing about the Evas you all need to know.”

“Can’t you just let them have a moment to get past this?” Misato held Shinji. To say she was upset with Tove would be an understatement. She thought forcing these truths onto the children as if they weren’t traumatized enough already was a bad idea, but the pace Tove moved at was too much.

“No, we have to move on, too long and Section 2 could come knocking down your door.” Tove took a breath and looked at the already broken expressions around the room. “The reason the Evas would never be able to harm any of you. Do you remember the failed pilot swap test?”

“Yes, we were all there for it. Unit-00 tried to attack Rei for some reason.”

“That is incorrect.”

Rei spoke to Misato.

“Unit-00 was not trying to harm me.”

Tove nodded, “She’s right. Unit-00 wasn’t going after Rei. Remember the activation experiment before Shinji showed up. Rei was ejected from Unit-00 and it still attacked the observation room. What was the one consistent factor between the two tests?”

Misato was stumped. What could’ve been similar between the two failed tests?

“I mean, the operation staff was there, but why would Unit-00 attack them?”

“It was doctor Akagi.”

Everyone turned to Rei with looks of bewilderment on their faces. Ritsuko being targeted by Unit-00 didn’t make any sense, she was part of the team that created the Evas after all.

“It has to do with the souls of the Evas. They were artificially created, and thus lack souls of their own. In order for a pilot to synch with the Eva, there has to be a soul in the core. Unit-00’s soul is Rei I. That is, the child Rei that Ritsuko’s mother killed, before committing suicide herself. Ritsuko knows this. When Unit-00 is deployed, it normally can’t see her, hence why it doesn’t go after her normally. But when it was activated only to look straight through the observation window and see her standing there, the soul of the Rei I rejected the pilot and tried to get revenge.”

“That’s why the entry plug smelled like Ayanami,” Shinji whispered. Unit-00’s plug smelled like Rei because Unit-00 actually was another Rei.

“If there’s a Rei in Unit-00, does that mean that there’s other Rei’s in the other Unit’s?”

“No. The souls in the other Evas have arguably sadder origins. They are mothers. I don’t know why but a mother’s love is required to forge a strong connection with an Eva pilot. Yui died because she was absorbed fully into Unit-01’s core. Shinji, your mother has been protecting you from inside Unit-01 from the start. That is the true cause of the ‘berserk incidents’”

Yui was dead, but not really. She was both alive in the core of Shinji’s Evangelion and she was cloned into Rei.

“Asuka-“

“My mother is in Unit-02, isn’t she.”

“Yes. Kyoko’s soul was partially absorbed into Unit-02 during the contact experiment. The part of her that loved you unconditionally. She’s been protecting you, Asuka.”

Asuka’s face remained inscrutable for a moment, before hope welled up in her ocean blue eyes.

“Mama’s alive. She’s been protecting me.”

“There’s more, too. Later, Gendo and Fuyutsuki used Yui’s DNA to attempt to bring her back. They attempted to pull a soul from the Chamber of Guf, but Rei’s was the only soul there.” Tove finished her piece and once again, eyes all turned to Rei who only nodded once. The repeated sensation of having everyone look to her for confirmation was beginning to wear on the pilot, but she didn’t let it show. She had been conditioned to remain emotionless.

“That is all correct. It’s why my synch rates remain low. The me in the Eva does not like to cooperate.”

Asuka’s look of happiness began to dial back from a rolling boil to a light simmer as she asked her next question, “Does this mean that the next time I’m in Unit-02, Mama will go berserk? Will I still be in control?”

Tove sighed and hesitated. She didn’t want to deprive Asuka of a reunion with her mother, but if she were to awaken Unit-02 NERV could retaliate. “I’m sorry, Asuka. But you cannot allow Kyoko to wake up. If Unit-02 fully awakens, NERV and its masters would get very upset very fast.” Asuka’s face contorted into a grimace, but Tove continued, “I’m being serious. Gendo does not appreciate it when things don’t follow his plans, and his masters like it even less. However. You might be able to get away with it with minimal repercussions if you do exactly what I say.”

By this point, Asuka had stood up as Rei, Shinji, and Misato watched. The redhead was on the cusp of exploding, all of the emotions from the day coalescing into what would be an extreme outburst. “What the hell could they do to me? I’m a pilot! They couldn’t afford to lose one of the three pilots in the world.”

“Wrong. They absolutely can, and absolutely would. I hate to say it, but you’re the most expendable to them. Yui’s in Unit-01 so Shinji can’t be lost, and Rei has-” Tove paused and glanced at the pilot in question, “Rei will be forced to come back if she’s lost. They would rather lose a pilot and replace Unit-02’s core to outfit it with a new pilot, than have a rogue Evangelion to contend with.”

Misato jumped in before Asuka could get a chance to respond. “Tove is right. NERV would do anything to force things to adhere to their plans, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they would even stoop to eliminating their best pilot to assert their will.”

“Asuka, you’ll have a chance during the fight against the thirteenth Angel. It will be by far the most difficult battle you’ve all faced so far, and could go horribly wrong if you don’t perform exactly the right way.” The room fell quiet again, Asuka’s expression a combination of anger and confusion.

“The thirteenth? We haven’t even fought the twelfth yet.”

“I’m aware of that. But Shinji has to beat the twelfth.”

Shinji recoiled at his mention. Since his panic attack, he had remained quiet observing the rest of the group. “Wait, me? But why does it have to be me? I don’t even know if I can pilot after all of this. It’s too much!”

“Yeah! Why does it have to be him? I can pilot better than him anyway!”

“It’s because Yui has to do it. Unit-01 should go berserk again to rescue Shinji, but I don’t want to deviate too much from my knowledge if I can help it. Otherwise things could go even worse than I expect.” Tove was fully agitated now. She wasn’t shouting, but Asuka was pushing her closer and closer. Misato and Rei had been silent for a while, but the agitation was infecting them too.

“You too need to cut it out!” Misato’s chair squealed against the floor as she shoved it back to stand.

“And you all need to listen to me without question! This story ends with the Third Impact happening  _ because _ of what you are all fighting for, not in spite of your actions to prevent it!” Tove was now leaning over the table, hands splayed out as she turned her sharp gaze across the room. Everyone else cowered beneath the interloper’s excessive height. Even without her previous words, her expression and body language would have commanded respect from everyone present. “I know how jarring I must seem, but I am trying to help you.”

Everyone had returned to their seats beneath Tove’s gaze. She wiped a hand down her face and stared down at the table. “Ok look, once we get past Leliel, the twelfth, we can talk about what’s going to happen with the thirteenth. Right now all you pilots need to think about is the synch test coming up and the subsequent battle. I think, I think we’ve had enough today. We’ll reconvene later, once we’re past Leliel.” Tove picked up her jacket and slung it over her shoulder, then covered Rei’s hands with one of her own. Making eye contact with the pilot, she did her best to extend an overly obvious gesture of care. Tove then left through the door to Misato’s room, but not before one last remark, “Asuka, you cannot not let your synch score get too high.”

“Why do I get a special instruction?”

_ Revelations cause Shinji’s synch rate to fall, meanwhile Asuka’s maxes out at nearly one hundred percent. The twelfth Angel shows up and absorbs Unit-01. And Rei talks with Asuka. Next chapter, Episode 16. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice! _


	6. Episode 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers basically all of Episode 16, but focuses more on Asuka and Rei than Shinji. The length of the chapter is good, but I'm not very satisfied with the last section. I may go back and change it up at any point.
> 
> EDIT 3/8/21: I forgot to update the Next Episode bit from the last chapter, it is now correct.

Chapter 6: Episode 16

Ritsuko looked over the scores for the Synch test. Asuka’s rates had skyrocketed from their already impressive level, while Shinji’s scores had dropped, in contrast with his growth trend. Rei, as usual, had remained within the standard range that was typical of her scores. The three pilots were still in the Test Plugs, the live feeds showing their faces.

“Shinji. You have to clear your mind of any distractions. Your scores are low.” Closing the channel to the pilots, Ritsuko turned to Misato, “Did something happen with Shinji? His scores are lower than they should be.”

Misato stared at the screen displaying the pilots for a moment before responding, “I think Shinji has just gotten inside his own head after hearing his father compliment him after the battle with the tenth Angel. He told me he had never been complimented before. Maybe he’s gotten afraid he’ll never hear it from his father again.” She huffed noncommittally and turned away.

“He was doing quite well during last week’s test. You don’t seem too sure that something didn’t happen to cause this.”

Misato simply replied that she had tried to get the pilots to bond with one another. The tense air was released when Ritsuko looked away from the Major and told the pilots the test was over, they could eject. Ritsuko clearly wasn’t going to let go of whatever had messed up Shinji’s synch results, but it didn’t look like Misato was going to give her anything to work with that could be a cause.

The trio finally entered the observation room, A confident, but strangely quiet Asuka towing the others in her wake. Maya congratulated Asuka on her near perfect score, which the redhead took with a smugness that was typical of the self-proclaimed best pilot. Rei looked about as aloof as always, which correlated to her synch scores that remained in the range that was typical of the First Children.

“Shinji, your score fell a non-negligible amount. You have to work on getting it back up. Don’t let things distract you while you’re piloting.”

He didn’t look up from his feet, he just nodded and responded with a simple, “Yes ma’am.”

“Asuka,” the doctor began, “maybe you can try to help Shinji. Your scores are the best, afterall.” She thought that playing to the girl’s ego might be enough to convince her to help Shinji. The pair didn’t have a great relationship, but Asuka’s ego was nearly as big as her Eva and Ritsuko hoped that was enough to get her to help the boy.

“I could try,” Asuka looked at Shinji who was still not standing very straight, “But I don’t know if even my piloting skills can help that one.” Ritsuko didn’t catch the look of genuine concern on the Second Children’s face.

Creeping through Tokyo-3 in Unit-02 felt weird to Asuka. Unit-02 was the tallest of the three Evangelions, if only by a couple meters. That still meant that it was almost 80 meters tall, which made sneaking a bit redundant. Regardless, they all had their orders to attempt to surround and guide the twelfth Angel out of the city before engaging it in combat. Asuka was on point, with Shinji and Rei providing support.

Asuka brought up a comm window in the corner of her vision, “Are you and Ayanami in position yet?” Shinji and Rei were awfully slow today.

“My umbilical is caught. I have to get to the next one.” Rei ejected her cable and moved up a couple blocks to where the next one was waiting in a building. _‘Working with Rei isn’t too bad, she listens well and doesn’t complain,’_ Asuka thought, _‘but Shinji really needs to get it together. He’s not the only one with a dead mom.’_

The newest Angel was curious to her. All of the previous ones had attacked as soon as they got close to Tokyo-3, but this one was just a floating ball with morphing black and white patterns on its surface. From the way it just meandered down the streets that were wide enough to clear its enormous diameter, it didn’t even appear to have a destination in mind. Misato told them it wasn’t a confirmed blood type Blue yet, either. This was much less straightforward than anything they’d encountered before.

“I’m going to try to divert it toward you, Shinji.”

Misato shouted over the comms, “No, Asuka, not yet!”

Asuka whirled out of cover, axe at the ready, but Misato’s words were enough to prevent her from continuing to engage the Angel. The Angel didn’t seem to notice her as it continued meandering down the street.

 _‘What the heck? Can it not see me? What’s it’s problem?’_ Asuka still didn’t make a move as Misato called for her to get back into cover. The orb eventually disappeared past the next block of buildings without any action against the red Eva, and its pilot wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Asuka, what’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“No, sorry.” Asuka responded flatly. “What’s it doing? It looked like it didn’t even notice I had jumped out at it.”

Ritsuko was the one who replied this time, “We don’t know what it’s doing or where it’s trying to go. It seems to want to cover the whole city but it hasn’t done anything hostile yet.” Basically that meant that the doctor and the rest of the crew didn’t have a better idea of the Angel’s plans than Asuka herself. It was slowly making its way toward Shinji’s position while Rei was still a couple blocks away trying to circle around in an attempt to be in position to herd it in the direction they planned.

When the map showed the Angel was only one block away from Shinji’s position, Asuka finally called out to him, “Shinji, you’ve gotta move. At this rate it’s going to be on top of you with you on the wrong side. Rei and I are almost in position to try to force it out of the city.

Suddenly 3 cracks echoed through the city in quick succession.

“What are you doing, you idiot!” Asuka’s shouts blended in with Rei and Misato’s, as Shinji in Unit-01 sank into a black disk like something out of a cartoon from the Pre-Impact era. _‘This Angel doesn’t make any sense, is it trying to eat the Eva?’_

“Ayanami! Asuka! Help!”

Asuka forced Unit-02 into action, only to grind to a halt a moment later as the black began to appear beneath her. Shinji’s audio cut to static as she lodged her axe into the building she had leapt on to, but she couldn’t worry about him while she grabbed her Prog Knife and climbed to the top of the building. Cars, bus stops, and light poles all quickly sank into the shadow, as did the buildings it engulfed. Unit-01’s Umbilical was getting dragged into the void while the two separate black spots converged into one massive one.

Rei’s rifle had put another bullet through the orb that had reappeared over the newly formed void, but she seemed to be far enough away that the Angel couldn’t reach her. She leapt across a few roofs, before Asuka got her Eva’s feet back on solid ground and made for Rei’s position to back her up.

“Rei! I’m coming to you now. Watch the ground for its shadow.”

“Understood.”

She could see Unit-00 settle into a perch on a medium height building before the remaining pilots heard Major Katsuragi’s orders.

“Asuka. Rei. Fall back, now.”

“Wha-“

“What about Shinji? Unit-01 is still in there.”

Rei’s firm voice cut her off, as she was about to ask the same thing.

A few moments passed before Misato gave them an order. “Fall back. We can’t do anything now.” Misato’s voice wavered, and the two pilots shared a look through their screens. No one truly wanted them to fall back, but it was better to regroup and see if Unit-01's sensors were transmitting anything that could help them deal with whatever this new Angel was.

The two Evas gazed into the void that swallowed up a couple blocks of their city. The air warped as the orb came into existence once more, but it remained stationary over the center of the void.

“We’re going to set up a mobile command center at this location,” a map appeared on the HUD, directing them a few blocks away to a park, “You two can power down and eject while we try to come up with an operation to rescue Shinji. I’m going to have to chew him out when he gets back.”

The two Evas hesitated for a moment, before complying and retreating to the marked location. There wasn’t anything set up yet, so the pilots chose to remain in their entry plugs for the time being. With neither up for conversation, they simply sat in their entry plugs and observed the city. A large portion of it had taken severe damage from the angel and buildings were semi sunken into the void it created. The LCL in Asuka’s plug was warm and comforting, and the smell reminded her of sunflowers. She was having an internal debate at that moment, trying to convince herself that there was nothing that she could’ve done to help Shinji in that moment. When she saw Unit-01 flailing about, trying to swim across the surface of the black. Now that the three of them knew all about the Evas and what they were truly capable of, she was confused that Yui hadn’t taken control and gotten Shinji out of harm's way, that way she’d heard had happened during his first sortie against Sachiel.

Rei too(two? lol), was facing an internal conundrum. Wondering what they were going to do to attempt a retrieval of Unit-01. Afterall, if there was no Unit-01, there was no need for her. Commander Ikari hadn’t told her about any situation resembling their current one, and she doubted he would simply lay down and let SEELE take over if his own agenda failed. Her thoughts eventually turned to the Second Children, Asuka, as they both remained in the comforting embrace of the LCL. Asuka was more important to the world if Instrumentality wasn’t achieved. Even if it was, she was supposed to have her role to play as an Eva pilot. Rei still had clones in the Well that could replace her if necessary. Everyone knew that now.

“Rei. You asleep, Wonder girl?” That was Asuka now. She saw Rei’s closed eyes through the still open comm channel on her HUD, and had to make sure she was alright. _‘With Shinji MIA, Asuka must be nervous. She probably just wants to make sure there isn’t something wrong so she isn’t lacking back up.’_

“I’m awake.” Rei opened her red eyes, and locked them with Asuka’s blue ones.

“Why do you think the idiot tried to fight on his own? I’m still the one with the highest scores so what did he think he was going to accomplish?”

“I don’t know. He hasn’t appeared to be ...stable lately.”

“You can say that again, he’s hardly been chronically apologizing for things like he usually does.” She paused, gazing out again at the city. “We should probably eject, it looks like the crews have finally gotten here to set up the mobile command.”

Before Rei could reply a tremor shook the city. The two Eva pilots fired up their Units and looked back at the Angel. A fissure split the void, as a horrifying shriek seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once. Rei and Asuka ran back to the edge of the black disk shouting over the comms for a sit-rep. A dark liquid welled up from the fissure as the surface began to warp until the whole thing shattered, splashing blood into the air along with car sized chunks of the angel. The black and white striped pattern that covered the orb faded to solid black, the lack of any surface features making it look like a hole was hung in mid air.

“Shinji…” Rei’s eyebrows crept upwards as her eyes widened minutely.

“This had better be him.”

Distortions overtook the orb as it looked like something was moving around inside it, and red streaks crawled along the apex of each distortion. Rei held up her rifle to prepare a shot if anything were to jump out. Only it seemed it wasn’t necessary, as the shape of a hand appeared to distend the orb before the surface tore and a blood and gore covered hand emerged. A second hand gripped the edge of the gash and forced it to tear further open, blood and gore draining from the insides. Two sharp glowing shapes were visible from inside the newly formed gap as a bloody, but still recognizable horn emerged. Unit-01 bellowed a city shaking roar as it pulled itself from the Angel.

“Is that really what the Evas are?” Asuka broke her shocked stare with Unit-01 to the open channel to see Rei even looked a little put off by the display.

Unit-01 shook the entire city as it landed on the shattered sea of red and black before adopting a wide stance, throwing its shoulders back and bellowing once more. The Angel crumbled and doused Unit-01 in blood and chucks that ran down the Evangelion, painting the purple armor just as red as Asuka’s Unit-02. Ritsuko and the rest of the crew looked on horrified as whispered questions about what they had created seeped from their lips.

Misato had a hard expression drawing her face tight as she witnessed the rebirth of Unit-01 into the world. NERV was going to have some explaining to do after this incident for sure. An Eva going berserk once was a freak accident, but twice was a pattern. Yui Ikari had not been planning to let anything happen to her child.

“Are there any readings from the pilot? Is Shinji ok?”

The crew were startled by her voice, but seeing her expression prevented them from commenting as they got to work trying to get a signal from the Eva.

“I can’t get anything, ma’am.”

Unit-01 shouldn’t have had any power by this point, it’s cable having been retracted with nothing on the end while Rei and Asuka were regrouping. Yet that didn’t deter Yui from walking away from the remains and collapsing into the arms of Rei and Asuka’s Evas.

Shinji had been retrieved from his Entry Plug unharmed, but unconscious. The Major didn’t know when he was going to wake up, but had been on route to his hospital room when Asuka caught up to her.

“Do you know if he’s alright, Misato?” Concern filled her voice.

“I think he’s ok, the scans didn’t show anything wrong with him, so we just have to wait for him to wake.” She didn’t know if she’d be able to shout at him, but maybe it would be ok to let him off with a disappointed look after the last 24 hours her and the pilots had all had. “Did Rei not want to come visit him?”

“Honestly, I think Ayanami was worried for him. But the Commander needed her for something. Probably to praise her bravery or whatever happens when he’s with his favorite.” Their shoes echoed off the floor as the duo wandered through NERV HQ’s deserted hospital wing. “What do you think about what- Unit-01 did? Tearing the Angel apart from the inside. It couldn’t have been running on its internal battery, right?” Asuka hoped her near slip-up had gone unnoticed.

Misato tossed a quick glare at Asuka as they arrived at the room Shinji was assigned to. She knocked and opened the door in a single motion, then stopped as Shinji was already sitting up in bed.

“You disobeyed my orders.” The Major was curt with him, causing his already disheartened expression to fall to his lap. “I’m glad you’re ok, Shinji.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and the boy let his mask break as he took shaky breaths.

“I’m sorry, miss Misato. Sorry Asuka.”

“So quick to apologize like always. Wait for Rei and me next time, idiot. We’re a team, remember?”

 _‘The relationships of all three pilots had changed so dramatically in just a few days. I guess learning about the Evas true nature helped them find common ground.’_ “You’re still not getting out of things that easily. We can discuss your punishment later though.” She sat in the only chair while Asuka hopped up on the bed. “What happened in there? We lost you from our monitors as soon as you were engulfed. Was there anything inside the Angel?”

Shinji bit his cheek a moment. “Nothing happened. It was entirely white. There wasn’t even a floor. I was just in a white void. I tried to move around but it didn’t feel like I was able to make progress in any direction. I put Unit-01 into life support mode and just… passed out? It didn’t feel like when I’m in bed and fall asleep though.”

“I guess you should save the details for Ritsuko’s report, she’ll grill you on every detail.”

Shinji wiped a few stray tears and sniffled before mumbling something. He didn’t want any possible recording devices to hear what he was going to say, but he couldn’t help himself. His roommates asked him to repeat, “I said, I had a feeling like I was in my mother’s arms.” He buried his head into his arms as he curled up, not wanting to be seen.

“Your mother?”

All three heads swiveled toward the door and the doctor who had been standing in it. “How did it feel like your mother, Shinji?”

He tucked himself deeper into his little ball and refused to answer. Misato looked between Ritsuko and him before laying an arm on Shinji’s back and rubbing small circles. “Ritsuko, can’t it wait? He’s probably scared out of his mind still. He clearly wasn’t alright earlier, you remember his synch score.”

“Yes, as a matter a fact I do. Shinji’s score fell by 9 points after you invited all of the pilots over to your apartment for a ‘bonding activity’.” Looking at her notes on the readings from the incident the doctor made them wait before she responded. “I want as much information about the possible cause of Unit-01’s second berserk incident. As does the Commander. If we wait to make a report, an important detail could be forgotten.”

“That’s cold Ritsuko.”

Asuka remained quietly contemplating as the two older women went back and forth. Shinji still hadn’t emerged from his cocoon. Now that they knew the secrets of the Evas it would be hard to describe their missions during their psych evals without saying too much.

_The pilots are back in school when Tove makes a quick visit to check on someone. Rei is given something big to think about. Toji acts like a moron and Hikari makes sure he knows how he's screwed up. And Rei makes a joke. Next chapter, A Pilot’s Desires. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice!_


	7. A Pilot's Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has one of my favorite interactions in it. It's of decent length and I think I got the editing right, but I've been so distracted with 3.0+1.0 spoiler conversations on discord that I'm a day late posting this. So apologies to everyone who was waiting. 
> 
> After what I've heard of 3.0+1.0, I had to consider taking a bit of a break. But instead it made me want to build up my own story more. I won't be mentioning any spoilers, and I don't plan to incorporate any ideas from the new movie so my rough outline shouldn't change much.
> 
> Also I'm a moron who completely forgot to add Toji/Hikari to the ship tags. Which has now been fixed as of 3/8/21.

Chapter 7: A Pilot’s Desires

The temperature had nearly broken into the 30’s, the normal for late October in a Post-Second Impact Japan. Recently, Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari had begun to meet at Misato’s to pick up Shinji and Asuka on their way to school. From there, the walk from the Katsuragi apartment to the school was a quick seven minutes, as the group chatted about typical middle school drama with the occasional diversion into whatever the pilots could disclose about their battles against the Angels. School in Tokyo-3 class 2-A was pretty easy, aside from the occasional extra long homework assignment, but it was still school at the end of the day so the group hung around the gates to prolong the start of the day.

“Oh, by the way, I heard a rumor that Unit-03 is going to be delivered from NERV’s US branch soon.” Kensuke often hacked into his dad’s computer to find out any information he could about upcoming NERV operations, so it wasn’t unusual for Shinji and Asuka to find out things through him. “I wish I could get picked to be a pilot, it’d be so great to see one of those fights from the cockpit.”

“We already did that man, I still taste that awful liquid from Ikari’s entry plug sometimes.” Toji elbowed Kensuke.

“Yeah, but we were just in Ikari’s way. If I went through the training and could fight in my own Evangelion. It would be so awesome! Just think of the footage I could get!”

“Yeah, footage you could never show anyone.”

The bell rang, signaling the start of the day, but the two pilots shared an uneasy glance when their friends took their seats. Piloting wasn’t something that was to be taken lightly. Rei entered just before the teacher did and took her seat by the window, but not before casting a light smile and small nod to Shinji and Asuka. Rei had been inducted to the group of friends since Tove had delivered her world shattering information, but she was still a very isolated and withdrawn. Part of that was because Rei was under orders to maintain distance from the rest of the school, and the other part was to maintain the deception that nothing had changed. And lastly, it was because Rei simply preferred to remain quiet.

Asuka occupied herself during the lesson by picking at the dangly bits of her spiral notebook. Ripping and folding up small pieces of paper, they became ammunition to flick over her shoulder in an attempt to bounce them off Shinji’s head. School would be boring for Asuka even if the teacher wasn’t distracted by telling stories of the Pre-Impact era. Kensuke hid behind his open laptop, he was the only one who had it open, but the teacher didn’t seem to notice as he called for the class to open them up.

The science lesson was pretty basic, stuff Asuka had done when she was only 9 years old, but the questions that didn’t look familiar still caused her to trip over her lack of understanding of the written language. Her computer didn’t even have a translate function to let her cheat her way through the day. After only a few minutes of trying, Asuka gave up and began doodling in her notebook. ‘ _Misato can shove it, my grades here don’t matter._ ’

The ping of a notification on her red laptop pulled her out of the typical morning stupor.

> >Are you paying attention?

Surprisingly, the sender of the message was Rei. As of the past few days, the pair loosely considered one another a friend, though they still tended to not speak much with the other. The slouch Asuka was performing blocked her view of the teacher, as she really wasn’t in the mood to answer any questions, so she peeked over her computer and seeing the coast was clear turned to look at Rei. The pilot was seated in the back corner staring out the window, no different from any other day.

> >Of course i’m not paying attention, Rei. I already know whatever they’re trying to teach me.
> 
> >Besides, he’s not even teaching. Just being an old guy reminiscing about before we were even born.

> >You should still pay attention. You still do not know enough kanji to do your homework.

Rei was messaging her in German, because as she said, Asuka still hadn’t picked up enough kanji to converse fluently.

> >What does it matter? NERV always translates whatever I write in my reports anyway.
> 
> >Besides, you know German so we can talk just fine like this.

> >Would you like help learning kanji?

Asuka paused at this. The thought of having _Rei_ of all people help her with school, let alone the concept of her offering shocked the redhead. How could she let _Wonder girl_ of all people teach her something. That would be like admitting straight to her biggest rival that she needed people to be there for her. Although, after what happened the night Tove showed up, Asuka was a little less guarded about things like that. 

Lunch came and went, small idle chit chat occupied the students while they ate. The past week had taken a toll on the pilots, but they were getting back into usual habits after the last Angel attack.

The halls were quiet, only a few students meandering about. Rei knew it was because the population of Tokyo-3 continued to dwindle with every attack scaring more and more people away. Rei entered the bathroom to find Tove examining her face in the mirror, the woman’s eyes swiveled to meet Rei’s.

“Hello, Rei.”

Rei blinked.

“Why are you here?”

Tove finished her examination and faced Rei. “Right now? I’m just here to check on you. Asuka and Shinji may have been more distraught when I laid everything out, but you didn’t look like you were doing well. You need people by your side.”

“I think Asuka and Ikari would help me, if the need arises..”

Tove threaded her fingers together as she leaned back and stared at the ceiling. She let out a sigh. “You are closer to them, but you still haven’t opened up. Not that you have to if you don’t want to. But something tells me you do deep down. I think you want to get closer to the other pilots but you’re afraid.”

Bringing her attention back to Rei she continued, “I’m still trying to figure out how to derail the plans for Instrumentality. I’m guessing you don’t want to get too close because you’re still afraid of Gendo’s plans succeeding?”

“No. I …am afraid of failing. Of the next one taking my place and not remembering.”

“I can understand that. I told you that I can visit different realities, but every time I travel to a new one, memories of the old ones start to fade. It’s hard for me to recall everywhere I’ve been.” A wistful gaze overtook her face. “I try to go back and visit some of the places I’ve been, to visit my friends, renew old memories, and make new ones. But I can hardly remember the oldest ones. Same with my original home, it’s been so long. The names and faces have all but vanished, the traumas have healed or been forgotten, only the feelings still remain.”

“Why leave if you don’t want to forget? Why do you not remain with your friends?”

“In short, I don’t age. I’ve been doing this for a long time. Something you don’t have to worry about. You should be concerned with your friends and what you want to do.”

Rei nodded and frowned lightly. _‘Be concerned with what I want. I do not know what I want.’_ She brought her attention back to Tove. “I don’t know what I want. I have never had the option to desire things.”

“Well that’s a lie,” Tove chuckled. “You have to want something, even if it’s only because you’ve been told you want it. What about the books you read? I very much doubt that Gendo ordered you to take it upon yourself to read books in your free time. Plus that one you were reading when Asuka introduced herself was in German.”

“I-“ Rei hesitated. It was true that the Commander had not ordered her to do any of the reading that she did in her free time. “That is true.”

Tove’s smirk stretched into a grin, “See? That’s a desire. Even if it’s just desire to make the time between orders more bearable. You should try to identify that feeling when it happens, to do something other than ‘what the Commander wants.’ Take your time and figure it out. You should have a bit of time before the next Angel shows up.”

“Yes. I understand.”

“Just don’t get too worked up over it. You might notice you want something when you aren’t thinking about it.”

Rei frowned again and focused on the floor in front of Tove. Her brow was slightly furrowed, and she remained silent for a time. “I think I would like to get closer to Pilot- I mean, to Asuka. She and I are more similar than she would admit, I think.”

Tove studied the look in her red eyes before she spoke. “That’s quite observant. You may have to convince her of that though. You know how she can be.” The woman forced herself up and walked past Rei, putting a hand on her shoulder. “If you need any help just ask. I’ll probably be around to hear it.” Then she winked, continued past, and disappeared around the corner.

_‘I also wanted to be there for Asuka. She was hurt and confused and I decided that she was more important than what Commander Ikari would have wanted.’_ The bathroom remained empty as Rei continued to ponder her newly realized desires.

When Rei returned from the bathroom, Asuka was berating the boys for something while Hikari laughed. The group had its usual banter, which for once Rei was actually interested in.

“Asuka, did I miss something funny?”

That drew the attention of everyone. They looked at her with expressions of bewilderment. Rei hardly talked when she wasn’t spoken to, even if she had been more present recently.

“Uh- nothing really? Suzuhara was just being an idiot as usual.” Asuka responded, a bit confused.

“Ok.”

The group continued to look at Rei funny for a few moments, before shrugging it off and making more light conversation for the rest of the lunch period. Rei didn’t contribute to their conversation, but she did pay attention, trying to understand the conversation. Whatever they were talking about was beyond her. The afternoon lessons dragged on as she stared out the window. Though she hadn’t mentioned it at the time, Rei had a similar mindset about school to Asuka. Though she backed it up with different reasons. Her role in Instrumentality made her apathetic toward learning whatever school had to teach her.

Yet, as Tove had pointed out, Rei realized that she did have her own desires and did things on her own time. It had not stood out to the pilot before, but now that she was aware of its ramifications Rei felt ...excited? Perhaps. She had desires, that much was certain. She was more than a pawn in Instrumentality. She had the ability to do things that wouldn’t affect her role in Instrumentality.

The setting sun began to approach the peak of Tokyo-3’s skyscrapers while the school day came to a close. Rei found herself staring at Asuka’s reflection in the window of the classroom, her red hair prominent enough to be seen over the colors that the setting sun portrayed. At first, Rei thought Asuka was taking notes, but the scribbles and rotations of the notebook told her otherwise. The redhead was clearly not paying attention to the “lesson” any more than Rei had been.

_‘I wonder, has Tove talked to Asuka alone, like she did with me? Perhaps I should ask.’_ Rei watched the other pilot’s reflection as whatever she was drawing became more refined. The pencil strokes became smaller, less rushed, and occasionally stopping. Presumably so the pilot could pretend she was paying attention to the lecture. Again, Rei was struck by some unusual _feeling._ Of what, she wasn’t sure exactly. It was something she had no name for other than how much it drew her attention to the other pilot.

The school day came to a close and Rei made a beeline for the door. She was typically the last one to show up to class and the first to leave. Commander Ikari didn’t appear to care about her performance in school as long as she maintained her typical attendance to brace a facade of a normal life. The halls filled as students left classrooms, reminding Rei of the way the bakelite had flowed from the walls to restrain Unit-00 in the failed test from months before.

“Wonder girl!” The shout was enough to make Rei freeze in her tracks. That kind of shout could’ve only come from one person. “Hey, Ayanami. Why don’t you walk with us? Your, uh ‘living quarters’ are the same way as Misato’s place.”

Rei turned to find the usual group catching up to her, though the non-pilots were all giving Asuka the same strange look they had given Rei upon her return at lunch.

“Soryu, you know Ayanami doesn’t ever tag along.” That would be Toji. Before Asuka could fully turn on him, Hikari had already smacked him.

“Don’t be rude, Suzuhara! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed Ayanami sitting with us lately.”

“Hey!” He rubbed his shoulder, as if Hikari’s light smack could’ve actually done damage to the jock. “I know that, I just respect her privacy is all. She never walks with us so she must have important stuff to do. Otherwise she’d ask.”

Even Shinji, dense as he was, could realize that Toji was an idiot.

“Maybe she doesn’t like to hang out with us because you’re around all the time.” Asuka shook her head and muttered a few choice German insults under her breath.

Kensuke was the one to extend the offer this time. “Ignore him Ayanami, he can’t help being an idiot. Would you like to walk with us?”

Rei remained rooted in place, expression neutral, but Asuka was able to recognize the look of gears turning behind her pale blue hair. Students filed around the group, slowly draining the halls, until Rei focused again on the redhead. The corners of her mouth twitched upward ever so slightly.

“I will join you.”

Shinji and Asuka looked happily surprised, while Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari were again baffled. They had hardly seen Rei talk, let alone accept an invitation for socializing. They were able to shake it off as the pilots started to leave without them. The three nonpilots didn’t know much about Rei, but they figured that piloting must have done something to get her to open up.

Kensuke was the first one to try to involve Rei in a conversation, “So. Ayanami.” Her emotionless mask faced the boy in glasses. “What’s it like in the entry plug for Unit-00? Suzuhara and I were in the plug with Ikari when he beat the second Angel, but I want to know about the other Evas!”

Rei didn’t change her expression, she just continued to walk and faced forward, “That is classified.”

“Well that’s no fun. Can you tell us anything about Unit-00?”

Asuka sighed while Shinji rolled his eyes, the pair had denied Kensuke’s constant stream of questions about classified information enough that he knew better with them. But somehow he thought that Rei might give him something.

“He can’t be serious,” Shinji muttered to Asuka.

“Of course he is, the idiot doesn’t know how to stop.”

Toji and Hikari berated Kensuke for trying to get information from the First Children, but Rei interrupted them with a raised hand, “It’s blue.”

A beat passed before two thirds of the teens burst out laughing. Shinji and Hikari were chuckling, Asuka nearly doubled over, and Toji had slapped Kensuke on the back as he howled with laughter. “You really got an inside scoop there, man. Hahaha! Better make sure to lock your doors, NERV is going to have to silence you for knowing that secret.” Kensuke blushed and hunched his shoulders while he pulled away from Toji, grumbling to himself.

The group’s laughter at the bespeckled teen’s expense eventually trailed off, and Rei remained stoic. She considered asking what the joke was, but figured it wasn’t something that would be explained to her.

“Wow. Asuka, you’d better watch out. Ayanami here might make a better comedian than you!”

The redhead tried to glare at Toji but she couldn’t fully reign in the spasms of laughter that shook her.

_Rei considers her role in the Commander’s plans, while Asuka begins to open her walls a little. Tove’s revelation gets revisited and she shows up once more to help a certain pilot. The name of the Fourth Children will be revealed. Next chapter, Train Conversations. Stay tuned for lots more fanservice!_


	8. Train Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ ME
> 
> So I'm uploading this completely unedited and unfinished because I haven't been feeling the NGE feels after all the spoiler stuff I've read. I won't mention anything specific, but certain things left me pretty upset. Especially dealing with the characters/plot points I'm introducing.
> 
> There are still 4 more chapters I have unedited after this so I am NOT giving up on this story. 
> 
> I repeat, I'm NOT giving up.
> 
> I'm changing my update schedule to every other weekend, and I'll be using the intermittent time to do more tweaks and edits in the already posted chapters and the unfinished ones.

^^^ READ THE NOTE ^^^

Chapter 8: Train Conversations

^^^ READ THE NOTE ^^^

The pilot locker rooms in NERV were always deserted, yet they were one of the most spotless parts of the facility. Someone must take care of them, though not as much could be said for most of NERV’s facilities. It was simply too large and NERV was too understaffed. You would think that the most advanced facility on earth, and the one that was literally the only thing standing in the way of the annihilation of the human race would have people signing up to help, rather than leaving. The blue haired pilot pondered none of these things however, because they were of no concern to her.

“Hey, Wonder girl.” Asuka began, “I’m going to request to be made the official leader of our squad. I know I’ve said it before, but I really am the best pilot here. I have the most training, the highest synch rate, and Unit-02 is the strongest.”

The redhead turned around to look at the only other person who used the locker room. She had already finished drying off and partially clothed herself after the synch test, while Asuka was still brushing the knots out of her hair.

“We worked pretty well as a team against Matarael when we followed my plan. Shinji and I got Gaghiel and Israfel together, and he backed me up against Sandalphon. Plus, if he had waited for back up, I’d like to think that we could’ve beaten Leliel as a team too.”

Rei was buttoning up the shirt to her school uniform as she answered in the soft tone that was her standard, “I believe we work well as a team. I defended Shinji during Operation Yashima, and he rescued me from the entry plug. Having a squad leader could make our threat assessment more efficient.”

“That doesn’t sound like a yes to me, Ayanami.” Ausuka’s tone was flat, but clearly in jest. “You think Misato or the Commander would go for that idea?”

Rei finished tying her ribbon and shut her locker. She could feel Asuka’s blue eyes following her, waiting for a response, though the other girl was still only wrapped in a towel so Rei could ignore the question by leaving the locker room. The First didn’t really want to ignore the question, but she had no answer for the Second.

“...I do not know. The Commander’s orders are focused toward one goal at nearly any cost, and you ...tend to follow your own heart. Perhaps, if things worked out more like the fight against Matarael, then they would welcome your command.”

The Second stared down the First. Asuka looked like she wanted to argue, lips drawn in a tight line, fists clenched at her sides, shoulders raised. Rei waited for the typical explosion.

“You’re right. I understand that. I should act more serious if I want a command position.” Asuka let out a big sigh and released the tension in her body.

Rei had not expected her to just let go of her anger like that. The Asuka she knew would have shouted. She’d have thrown a fit, or maybe even a slap.  _ ‘Then again, Asuka has been rather level headed since Tove told her and the others about NERV’s secrets. She still burns with an intense fire, but it’s different now. More focused, rather than being released in every direction at once.’ _ That night had been difficult for everyone involved.

“Alright, Tove, time to spill. What’s the deal with the thirteenth Angel?”

Tove ran her hand up the back of her head to comb out the knots in the loose portion of her hair. Asuka noted the repetitive action as some kind of nervous tick. Tove left her hand resting on the back of her neck and looked up at Asuka who was standing defiantly above her.

“You do realize that you’re a 14 year old and I have centuries of combat experience. You can’t intimidate me, so just sit down already.”

Asuka’s face drained of a bit of color, but she refused to back down. It was simply her nature to be bullheaded. “So what? You said you were trying to protect us, you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“No, I said I was here to *help* you. I’m not above kicking a kid’s ass.”

Asuka sat down at that, her expression dumbfounded. She may not have known Tove for more than a couple days, but it was clear enough that she wasn’t kidding. “Asuka, like I said before, you *might* get a chance to reasonably awaken Unit-02. But I’m genuinely worried for you. If this goes wrong, they could indefinitely ground Unit-02 or worse.”

Tove hesitated again. She had been playing with the tab of an empty can that was left on Misato’s kitchen table, but it finally gave out and she was left without a distraction.

“The pilot of Unit-03. It’s going to be Toji. Or at least it should be, Kensuke and Hikari are also candidates. Butterfly effect and all that. While Unit-03 is en route it will be infected by Bardiel, the thirteenth, but the Angel won’t do anything until the activation test. The chances of the pilot surviving the destruction of the Eva are very low.”

Asuka’s mouth gaped open. Then it closed. And opened once more. “You’re serious”

Tove merely hummed in affirmative.

“Shit.”

Asuka let herself curl up, head hung above her crossed arms, as she thought.  _ Shit. A second idiot pilot. Oh, wait. Shit! I’m going to have to tell Hikari about this. _ She picked her head up and met Tove’s somber expression.

“I think you’ll be able to get away with letting yourself fully sync with Unit-02-”

“When will he know?”

“When? I’m not sure exactly. Only a day or two before they hold the activation test.”

Asuka had started picking at her nails when she had gotten home from school and thought about how she could get in touch with Tove. She had been mumbling to herself, or that’s what Tove told her, as she changed from her school uniform to Misato’s shirt. When she returned to the kitchen, the tall woman was already sitting at the table playing with the tab of a beer can. Her thumb had carved a small notch into the nail of her index finger, and was now working on a second notch.

“Hmm. That’s not a lot of time for him to come to terms with it. I should tell him.”

“That could potentially be a good idea.” Tove was now on her third can, flipping the tab back and forth under her thumb. “Be subtle about it, but I’d say go for it. It really can’t make the outcome much worse than what I’ve seen.”

“Can you tell me how it’s going to happen?”

The tab’s connection had been stressed enough that it provided negligible resistance to being pushed back and forth. “Well, I guess the short version is that the Angel takes down you and Rei, while Shinji refuses to fight back. The Dummy Plug activates and obliterates the Eva and Gendo refuses to shut it down so it digs out the entry plug and crushes it. Toji will either die or lose an entire leg.”

“Rei, I want to be as prepared as possible for the next Angel attack. If it’s anything like the last few we’ll kick its ass. Not to mention this is a good chance to score some points with command that I don’t want to screw up.”

Asuka was buttoning up the last of her shirt, not daring to look at the other girl while she spoke of her inner fears.  _ ‘The old Asuka would definitely not mention her fears, especially not to me.’ _ Rei remained in front of her locker, she felt like she should break her usual routine of leaving as soon as she was finished and wait for the redhead today.

“Why are you still here anyways? Don’t you have a meeting with the Commander, like you’re always rushing off to?” Asuka turned and slammed her locker shut. Not many things the redhead did were subtle afterall.

“I don’t today. I thought, as you pointed out at school yesterday, it made more sense for me to wait to go home with you.” Rei stumbled through her sentence, her lack of certainty clear to Asuka.

Asuka eyed the First cautiously, “Well if you insist. Let’s get going, I’m not hanging around here any longer than I have to.”

The pair departed from NERV together, keeping mostly to themselves, but for the occasional comment. It seemed conversation between the two didn’t want to flow when it was only the two of them. They needed a third member of their band. The afternoon was dragging on and the sounds of the city were at full tilt as cars and people made their way through the advanced city. The train station was just next door to NERV, probably to make travel to and from the facility as efficient as possible, and the platform was quite full.

“Oh, excuse me.” Someone apologized for bumping into the pilots, though they were the only one who extended the courtesy with how packed it was.

“Why don’t you watch-” Asuka cut herself off as she looked behind her and Rei. Her eyebrows rose as her mouth opened and closed a couple times. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t be seen?” She practically hissed, having turned around to face the tracks again.

She couldn’t see it, but Tove smirked. “Nothing wrong with a little sightseeing. Besides, I took public transport into the city this time. Like a normal person. I know how to not arouse suspicion.”

Rei and Asuka turned to look at the woman with expressions mixed of unease and incredulity.  _ ‘Perhaps she has found some other means of not drawing NERV’s attention. Or she has some information that needs to get to us right away.’ _ Rei decided it was best to just ask, “What was so important that had to find us right now?”

“Hmm? Oh. I’m impatient. I’m not used to waiting for the action to happen. And I’m just bored.”

Asuka and Rei were both left speechless and looked at one another before double checking that Tove was serious. They both turned away from the woman and pointedly ignored her as she attempted to placate their simmering anger. The train squealed to a stop as people crowded the edge of the platform. A few passengers exited the train before the horde on the platform poured onto the train. Rei and Asuka got seats while Tove grabbed a hang ring. The train pulled away from the platform and rattled into the city. A boy in a white button down broke off his sprint, realizing he was too late to catch that particular train.

“So why are you two hanging out all of a sudden? Finally sort out your differences? Unite in disdain for Shinji?”

Asuka hmph’d and turned away, cheeks tinted pink. “We aren’t hanging out! Wonder girl just lives in the same direction as Misato, so it makes sense for us to take the same train. Geez, don’t be so weird about it.” She surreptitiously peeked over her own shoulder to see Rei’s reaction, but her expression was decidedly neutral.

“I wanted to ride home with her. As Asuka said, it’s convenient.” Rei paused, once again donning the contemplation face, and continued, “I’m embracing my desires, as you suggested.” 

Tove’s lips pursed. “Do you actually want to, Rei? Or are you just doing this because I said something to you?”

“Yes, I thought about what it meant, for me to do something that I want to do. It shouldn’t affect the plans, so I see no reason to deny myself.”

Tove appeared appeased by Rei’s reasoning and didn’t push further. The train squealed as it cornered, passengers bobbing around to counter the random lurches the train made. Tokyo-3 wasn’t the largest or most densely populated city, but a large portion of its inhabitants worked at NERV, meaning this was the most packed train of the day. Passengers were exchanged at the stops, some headed home to their families, others to work, and other destinations. Tove disembarked only a stop or two before Asuka’s, wishing the two pilots well.

With Tove gone, the atmosphere between Rei and Asuka became uncomfortable. The two pilots were still in the dawning stages of friendship, thus the two didn’t know how to initiate or carry a conversation with the other. The rattles and squeals from the train seemed to get louder and louder as the seconds ticked by, as though time was slowing down to get a kick out of making the pilots uncomfortable.

“Asuka-”

“Ayanami-”

The pair began at the same time and exchanged surprised looks.

“You go first, Asuka.”

“I was just going to say that ...you should come to Misato’s. I’m sure you still aren’t feeling great after that conversation the other day, and figured you’d want the company. Plus it’s Shinji’s turn to cook dinner.” Asuka’s unsure start built to her usual bravado.

Rei hesitated, but she looked up at Asuka and smiled, “I will, thank you.”


End file.
